Feeling awkward in sex is perfectly normal, natural and ok. Even if you've been with the same person for a long time, things can get awkward. Maybe you haven't been sexual for a while, and it feels awkward. Or maybe you're trying something new, and it feels awkward. Or maybe you've been coming to see me and I'm asking you to do homework that feels a little bit awkward. Maybe one of you is feeling awkward or you're both feeling awkward. It's all ok.
When it comes to sex, we tend to buy into the myth that bigger, harder, faster is best. While that approach might make for entertaining viewing on screen, what looks good is not necessarily what feels good. What feels good is a balance and a flow between the yin and the yang elements of sex.
The best sex is rarely spontaneous. Or if it is, it’s because the conditions were right for it be ‘spontaneous’. People often complain to me that their sex isn’t spontaneous. As though that’s a bad thing. They often reminisce about the early days when sex was so easy and apparently ‘spontaneous’. But, I challenge them, was it really spontaneous? I point out that back then sex was anything but spontaneous: there were days of anticipation, thinking about your new love interest, you’d spend time preparing to meet, looking good. Then when you met, you’d be doing interesting things, you were fascinated in each other, you’d spend hours talking or dancing or having fun. So, by the time you got home you couldn’t wait to rip your clothes off…. That wasn’t spontaneous. There were days and hours of looking forward to, thinking about, engaging with, before you got sexual.
I had a client come to see me this morning. She opened up with: “I don’t want to be here as I know you are going to judge me.” She then confessed that she finds a work colleague attractive. And then went into a long, confused, fraught spiel about what it did or didn’t mean.
When a wine ages well it becomes more complex, layered, subtle. You want to savour the experience of drinking it, not guzzle it down. Sex that ages well is the same. Mature sex takes its time, appreciates all aspects of the experience, doesn’t set out to hit ‘goals’, just enjoys the experience as it unfolds.
If you both happen to be feeling horny at the same time, great, have sex. But chances are you’re not always feeling horny at the same time. So, what do you do? Nothing?
We tend to think that the definition of ‘libido’ is sex drive, how much you want sex, or how often you get horny. But the original meaning of the word libido is life force energy. I think that is a much better way to conceptualise libido.
Client after client sits on the couch in my consulting room wishing they didn’t have their sexual difficulties and were ‘normal’. After hearing their stories, I give them both the bad news and the good news – they are ‘normal’. In our society sexual struggles, difficulties are confusions are the norm. It’s a rare person who is totally comfortable in their sexuality.
Some days into my last couples retreat in Bali we were in a group discussion when one of the participants said that what he and his partner were experiencing, based on what I was sharing and teaching, felt like a ‘practice’. Just as they had regular meditation practices, this approach to sexual intimacy had the same qualities. I think that is an excellent way of conceptualising the approach to sex that I encourage.
The best sex is rarely spontaneous. Or if it is, it’s because the conditions were right for it be ‘spontaneous’. People often complain to me that their sex isn’t spontaneous. As though that’s a bad thing. They often reminisce about the early days when sex was so easy and apparently ‘spontaneous’. But, I challenge them, was it really spontaneous? I point out that back then sex was anything but spontaneous: there were days of anticipation, thinking about your new love interest, you’d spend time preparing to meet, looking good. Then when you met, you’d be doing interesting things, you were fascinated in each other, you’d spend hours talking or dancing or having fun. So, by the time you got home you couldn’t wait to rip your clothes off….
One of the biggest impediments to a good sex life that I see over and over again, is the assumption that certain activities must inevitably lead to sex. These activities, a look, a touch, a kiss, are seen as a ‘green light’ that leads to the chain of events generally referred to as ‘sex’ which have as their main KPIs intercourse (if you’re heterosexual) and orgasms (whatever your orientation).
In the fascinating realm of numerology, where numbers carry profound meanings and influence our lives in mysterious ways, the power of three stands out prominently. Today, we delve into the three most empowering numbers that hold the keys to unlocking your destiny. Brace yourself for a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we unravel the magic of these digits.
Home & Living
Curtains & Sheers | Round Cushions | Sofa Covers | Cotton Bedsheets | Bedding Sets | Pillow Covers | Decorative Items | Duvet Covers | Blankets | Home Temple | Yoga mats | Bean Bags | Single Bed Sheet | Cushions | Face Towels | Cotton Towel | Trays | Coasters
Men Ethnicwear
Men Dhoti Kurtas | Men Indo Western Dresses | Men Velvet Sherwanis | Men Dhotis
Women Western Wear
Women Frocks | Long Tops Women | Tshirt Dresses | Designer Gown | Pencil Skirts | Women Trousers | Flared Jeans | Women Sweatshirts | Shrugs | Capris | Jacket Dresses | Fancy Ladies Sweater | Chikankari Palazzos | Ankle Length Leggings | Tights | Printed Leggings | Kaftans | Maternity Wear | Denim Women Shorts | Black Jeggings | Short Night Dress | Women Night Suits | Lace Lingerie Sets | Lingerie Sets | Push Up Bra | Stockings | Black Camisoles | Cotton Bathrobes | Satin Night Suit | Body shapers | Women Pyjamas | Swimwear | Women Jackets | Women Thermal Set
Women Ethnicwear
Silk Saree | Puff Sleeve Blouses | Chikankari Kurtis | Designer Lehenga | Sharara | Phulkari Dupatta | Petticoats | Abaya | Black Kurta | Velvet Shawls | Blouse Piece | Kurti Fabric | Designer Suits
Women Footwear
Women Slippers | Bellies | Juttis & Mojaris
Women Accessories
Hoop Earrings | Stud Earrings Women | Oxidised Ring | Handbags | Umbrellas | Cateye Sunglasses | Jewellery Set | Slingbags | Trolley Bags | Hijabs | Ankle Socks Women | Clutches | Hair Accessories | Maangtika | Pouches | Duffle Bags | Pashmina Shawls | Bindis | Waist Bags | Rucksacks | Briefcases | Small Travel Bags | Potlis | Nosepins | Gold Bangles | Bridal Anklets | Chandbali Earrings | Necklaces | Multi Necklace
Electronics & Accessories
Android Smart Watches | On Ear Headphones | Bluetooth Speakers | Bluetooth Earphones | Sport Headphones | CCTV Cameras | Spy Cameras | Keyboard | Laptop Bags | Mouse | Laptop Accessories | Pen Drives | Earphones | Fast Charging Power Banks | Headphones | Data Cables | Car Mobile Holders | Car Mobile Holders | Mobile Chargers | Speakers | Diwali Lightings | Microphone | Memory Cards | Digital Photo Frames | Dongle | VR Box
Men Western Wear
Cotton Shorts Men | Denim Jeans Men | Formal Trousers Men | Men Active Shorts | Sport Jackets Men | Printed Tshirts | Formal Shirts Men | Sleeveless Sweatshirts Men | Leather Jackets Men | Grey Blazers | Men Sweaters | Sport Tracksuits Men | Vests | Printed Briefs Men | Men Trunks | Wool Jackets Men
Men Footwear
Reebok Sports Shoes Men | Men Sandals | Leather Loafers Men
Men Accessories
Leather Watches Men | Gold Jewellery Men | Hair Spray For Men | Men Keychains | Men Socks | Men Scarves | Men Wrist Bands | Men Crossbody Bags | Men Shirt Studs
Kids
Kids Lunch Boxes | Kids Ethnic Jackets | Kids Blazers | Rompers | Kids Kurtis & Kurtas | Kids Salwar Suit Sets | Kids Ethnic Gowns | Tshirts Boys | Girls Stylish Tops
Baby
Baby Pillows | Baby Towels | Baby Hanging Cradle | Baby Sleeping Bag | Baby Blanket
Home & Kitchen
Toaster | Mixer Grinder | Cookers | Juicer | Food Processors | Roti Maker | Sandwich Maker | Kettles | Hand Blender | Table Cover | Napkins Holder | Kitchen Mat | Kitchen Towel | Aprons | Kitchen Gloves | Racks & Holders | Spice Racks | Jars & Container | Water Bottles | Thermos & Flasks | Lunch Boxes | Salt & Pepper Shakers | Knives | Food Strainers | Choppers | Mashers | Graters | Cutlery | Chopping Boards | Kitchen Scissors | Ice Cube Trays | Measuring Cups | Tongs | Ice Cream Scoops | Funnels | Trivets
Personal Care & Wellness
Tummy trimmer | Makeup Kits | Hair Color | Hair Steamers | Hair Care | Oral Care | Beard Oil | Deodorants | Eye Lenses | Soap | Oximeter | Bb Cream | Body Scrub | Olive Oils | Talcum Powder | Face Steamers | Compact | Nail Cutter | Lip Balm