Blogs
When It Gets Awkward in Bed
Feeling awkward in sex is perfectly normal, natural and ok. Even if you've been with the same person for a long time, things can get awkward. Maybe you haven't been sexual for a while, and it feels awkward. Or maybe you're trying something new, and it feels awkward. Or maybe you've been coming to see me and I'm asking you to do homework that feels a little bit awkward. Maybe one of you is feeling awkward or you're both feeling awkward. It's all ok.
The Yin & Yang of Erotic Physiology
When it comes to sex, we tend to buy into the myth that bigger, harder, faster is best. While that approach might make for entertaining viewing on screen, what looks good is not necessarily what feels good. What feels good is a balance and a flow between the yin and the yang elements of sex.
Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
The best sex is rarely spontaneous. Or if it is, it’s because the conditions were right for it be ‘spontaneous’. People often complain to me that their sex isn’t spontaneous. As though that’s a bad thing. They often reminisce about the early days when sex was so easy and apparently ‘spontaneous’. But, I challenge them, was it really spontaneous? I point out that back then sex was anything but spontaneous: there were days of anticipation, thinking about your new love interest, you’d spend time preparing to meet, looking good. Then when you met, you’d be doing interesting things, you were fascinated in each other, you’d spend hours talking or dancing or having fun. So, by the time you got home you couldn’t wait to rip your clothes off…. That wasn’t spontaneous. There were days and hours of looking forward to, thinking about, engaging with, before you got sexual.
It's Normal to Find Other People Attractive
I had a client come to see me this morning. She opened up with: “I don’t want to be here as I know you are going to judge me.” She then confessed that she finds a work colleague attractive. And then went into a long, confused, fraught spiel about what it did or didn’t mean.
Sex Should Age Like A Fine Wine
When a wine ages well it becomes more complex, layered, subtle. You want to savour the experience of drinking it, not guzzle it down. Sex that ages well is the same. Mature sex takes its time, appreciates all aspects of the experience, doesn’t set out to hit ‘goals’, just enjoys the experience as it unfolds.
Move Towards Love-Led not Lust-Led Sex
If you both happen to be feeling horny at the same time, great, have sex. But chances are you’re not always feeling horny at the same time. So, what do you do? Nothing?
Let Nature Boost Your Libido
We tend to think that the definition of ‘libido’ is sex drive, how much you want sex, or how often you get horny. But the original meaning of the word libido is life force energy. I think that is a much better way to conceptualise libido.
You're Not Alone - Sexual Struggle is Normal
Client after client sits on the couch in my consulting room wishing they didn’t have their sexual difficulties and were ‘normal’. After hearing their stories, I give them both the bad news and the good news – they are ‘normal’. In our society sexual struggles, difficulties are confusions are the norm. It’s a rare person who is totally comfortable in their sexuality.
Approaching Sex As A Spiritual Practice
Some days into my last couples retreat in Bali we were in a group discussion when one of the participants said that what he and his partner were experiencing, based on what I was sharing and teaching, felt like a ‘practice’. Just as they had regular meditation practices, this approach to sexual intimacy had the same qualities. I think that is an excellent way of conceptualising the approach to sex that I encourage.
Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
The best sex is rarely spontaneous. Or if it is, it’s because the conditions were right for it be ‘spontaneous’. People often complain to me that their sex isn’t spontaneous. As though that’s a bad thing. They often reminisce about the early days when sex was so easy and apparently ‘spontaneous’. But, I challenge them, was it really spontaneous? I point out that back then sex was anything but spontaneous: there were days of anticipation, thinking about your new love interest, you’d spend time preparing to meet, looking good. Then when you met, you’d be doing interesting things, you were fascinated in each other, you’d spend hours talking or dancing or having fun. So, by the time you got home you couldn’t wait to rip your clothes off….
A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
One of the biggest impediments to a good sex life that I see over and over again, is the assumption that certain activities must inevitably lead to sex. These activities, a look, a touch, a kiss, are seen as a ‘green light’ that leads to the chain of events generally referred to as ‘sex’ which have as their main KPIs intercourse (if you’re heterosexual) and orgasms (whatever your orientation).
Most Empowering Numbers in Numerology
In the fascinating realm of numerology, where numbers carry profound meanings and influence our lives in mysterious ways, the power of three stands out prominently. Today, we delve into the three most empowering numbers that hold the keys to unlocking your destiny. Brace yourself for a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we unravel the magic of these digits.
Recent Posts
ਠੰਢ 'ਚ ਕਿਉਂ ਟ੍ਰਿਗਰ ਹੁੰਦੈ ਮਾਈਗ੍ਰੇਨ, ਐਕਸਪਰਟ ਤੋਂ ਜਾਣੋ ਇਸਦੀ ਵਜ੍ਹਾ ਤੇ ਬਚਾਅ ਦੇ ਤਰੀਕੇ
सर्दियों में रूखे और बेजान बालों पर इन 3 तरीकों से लगाएं एलोवेरा, दूर हो जाएगी समस्या
मुंह की बदबू दूर करने में मदद करेगा सेब के सिरके से बना माउथवॉश, जानें घर पर बनाने का तरीका
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